Episode 104: 3 ways to Be Perfect

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Perfection is a topic I teach women about almost daily and I believe it is one of the most misunderstood terms in the gospel. Women often think the term perfect, when used in the scriptures, means to be without mistake. Which then leads to them searching to crack the code of never making a mistake in order to live up to what God wants them to do. This thought process of trying to be without mistake and show up perfectly or don’t show up at all leads to a lot of stress, overwhelm, hurt and heartache. Eventually feeling not good enough and that you will never be good enough. This is actually the exact opposite of what God was intending when He said that.

What I hope you gain out of this is that the higher and holier way of looking at perfection will allow you to feel more peace, confidence and hope. Your thoughts about what perfection really is can determine how you feel AND what actions you take in your life.

I was also inspired to record this episode because of a recent talk in General Conference called The Imperfect Harvest by Elder Vern P. Stanfill of the Seventy. I want to read you a quote from his talk about perfection. He said,

“Remember that perfectionism is not the same as being perfected in Christ. Perfectionism requires an impossible, self-inflicted standard that compares us to others. This causes guilt and anxiety and can make us want to withdraw and isolate ourselves.”

Have you ever fallen into that comparison trap of putting others on this perfection pedestal and feeling like you need to somehow get up there too? I know I am not exempt from these thoughts for sure. Being that we never truly know everyone's situation comparing ourselves to them will always leave us wanting.

In fact, these types of misconceptions about perfection are very common and not because they are taught that way, but because of a natural phenomenon inside all of us, the natural man. The natural man is supposed to tell us the exact opposite thing of what God would tell us, that is it's job. The natural man is really good at taking gospel principles and then turning them around to make you feel guilt, shame and confusion. So I want to share with you what the scriptures are actually talking about when you read about perfection. So I am going to share 3 ways you can actually be perfect according to the scriptures. 

The first way we can achieve perfection is through RESURRECTION President Nelson dove into this in 1995 in his talk Perfection Pending. In that talk he distinguished between Eternal perfection and Mortal perfection. Here’s what he said about Eternal perfection. 

“In the scripture Matthew 5:48 be ye therefore perfect, the term perfect was translated from the Greek teleios, which means “complete.” Teleios is an adjective derived from the noun telos, which means “end.” The infinitive form of the verb is teleiono, which means “to reach a distant end, to be fully developed, to consummate, or to finish.” Please note that the word does not imply “freedom from error”; it implies “achieving a distant objective.” In fact, when writers of the Greek New Testament wished to describe perfection of behavior—precision or excellence of human effort—they did not employ a form of teleios; instead, they chose different words.Just prior to his crucifixion, he said that on “the third day I shall be perfected.” Think of that! The sinless, errorless Lord—already perfect by our mortal standards—proclaimed his own state of perfection yet to be in the future. His eternal perfection would follow his resurrection and receipt of “all power … in heaven and in earth.”

I love this distinction President Nelson made about the Savior not even being perfect until he was resurrected. Doesn’t that take some of the pressure off? Now, I don’t think God is only telling us that the only thing we need to be perfect is to be resurrected because that is promised to all. But being that it is offered to all it offers hope and a reason to look forward in our lives despite our imperfections.

So the second and third way of being perfect involve some work on your part but not in the way you might think. These next two ways of being perfect fall under the category of perfecting the saints. When I tried to look up the exact meaning of perfecting the saints, I couldn’t find a definitive answer. However, I did find some interesting ideas from conference talks. This quote from President Nelson outlines the second way to be perfect which is to MAKING COVENANTS FOR OURSELVES AND OUR ANCESTORS THROUGH ORDINANCES. President Nelson said,

“The Lord again restored His Church to bless all God’s children in this the last dispensation of the gospel with the ordinances and covenants necessary for the “perfecting of the saints”.The “perfecting of the saints” to the greater concept of gathering Israel on both sides of the veil. As we strive to walk the covenant path by making and keeping covenants with the Lord and help gather Israel on both sides of the veil, we perfect both ourselves and our families involved in this work here on earth as we help perfect our ancestors in the spirit world."

 There is also a reference to Doctrine & Covenants 128:18 “For we without them cannot be made perfect; neither can they without us be made perfect. Neither can they nor we be made perfect without those who have died in the gospel also.” This is such an interesting way to look at becoming perfect. We need to have these covenants to become whole which is the definition of perfect in the guide to the scriptures. Not only do we need to make our own covenants, we also need to help our ancestors make their own covenants as well in the temple.  

Now the second part of perfecting the saints that President Nelson said with making covenants was keeping our covenants.This leads to the third way of being perfect which is REPENTANCE. When you look up the definition of perfect in the Guide to the Scriptures it says,

True followers of Christ may become perfect through His grace and Atonement.

Part of the perfecting process is in keeping covenants; we won't do it without mistake. The plan was never set up for us to keep our covenants without mistake. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be a Savior for us. The process of repenting and turning back to Christ for help, healing and redemption, is what helps us continually grow into the individuals God knows we can become. I found this fun quote by Elder Neal A. Maxwell that goes right along with this,

“The Church is not a well-provisioned rest home for the already perfected Rather, the Church is a learning laboratory and a workshop in which we gain experience in the ongoing process of “perfecting the Saints.”

I love that! Church is a learning laboratory for us to come back to and begin to look at and inspect where changes need to occur.  The real truth is, we will all have a need for repentance to be perfected because we live in a fallen world with fallen bodies and the real culprit is the natural man. If you don’t learn how to understand and work with your natural man then you run the risk of being deceived and lose the opportunity to let Christ help you become perfected. On the other hand, when you get to know your natural man and remove the roadblocks that the natural man creates, then you hear and recognize Him more in your life and participate in the perfecting of the saints.

Truth is, NO ONE can remove all their roadblocks and be perfect in this life. Not me, and not you. But ANYONE can learn to recognize when they are being triggered in the natural man state and use skills to return to their true divine self. Which is exactly what I teach you to do in my Removing Roadblocks to Revelation Group Coaching program. In this program you learn Mental Health Skills through a Spiritual Lens so that you can understand which thoughts are keeping you from connecting with Christ and participate in the perfecting of the saints. I plan to open this program in August and I would love for you to join us. So get on the WAITLIST today to be notified when registration opens for the last time this year. Also, go and listen to Krystal's story of how she felt when she began implementing what she learned in the Removing Roadblocks to Revelation Group Coaching Program she learned the actual source of her self-doubt and how to find peace even when she wasn't able to be "perfect."