Episode 120: 7 Sabotagers of Your Mental Health (Part 2)

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Before you know it, the winter will be upon us and the dark cold winter months can take a toll on your mental health if you aren’t prepared. Prevention really is the best intervention you can have with your mental health. 

Usually around January, I see an influx of patients coming into my office who are really struggling with their mental health. There are some themes that I notice with people who struggle with their mental health in the winter and in general.  These are certain things that someone might be doing or not doing that lead to a decrease in mental wellness. I want to talk about these in the form of sabotagers. To sabotage something means you are damaging, destroying or hindering something. So I will talk about how certain actions, mindsets or relationship interactions that can damage, destroy or hinder your mental health from being well. 

I have actually noticed 7 very common sabotagers that women are doing to their mental health and in order to give each one the time it deserves, I am going to split this episode up into three parts. Today I am going to outline 3 emotional mindsets you might be falling into that sabotage your mental health. So let’s dive in.

Perfectionism Mindset

Women often think the term perfect when used in the scriptures means to be without mistake. Which then leads to them searching to crack the code of never making a mistake in order to live up to what God wants them to do. This thought process of trying to be without mistakes and show up perfectly or don’t show up at all leads to a lot of stress, overwhelm, hurt and heartache. Eventually feeling not good enough and that you will never be good enough. This is actually the exact opposite of what God was intending when He said “Be ye therefore perfect”. In fact I recorded a whole podcast on this topic called 3 ways to be perfect if you want to check it out. I will link that episode in my show notes for you as well. 

This perfectionism mindset is one that comes from the natural man inside of us. It is the exact opposite of how God wants us to feel. He wants us to be perfect WITH Christ. God wants you to recognize there isn’t a need to show up without mistakes, but a need to acknowledge a reliance on the Savior for everything that you do. The natural man can cause you to not want to rely on anyone, including the Savior. The key is to exit the natural man state so you can be whole and connected with the Savior. When you exit the natural man state you are excited about the need to rely on the Savior. In a minute, I’ll tell you about how to exit this state so you can get out of the sabotaging perfectionism mindset.

Failure Mindset

Everyone has negative thoughts now and then, and occasional feelings of failure usually pose no mental health problem. However, sometimes these negative thoughts can take hold and really spiral you to the point of feeling like you won’t succeed no matter what. These ugly thoughts can sound very bleak, miserable, and without hope and can become good company on sleepless nights.

The failure mindset thoughts can prevent you from making forward progress during the day or even wanting to try anything. These thoughts usually leave you in the opposite of perfection which is if I can’t do it perfectly I won’t do it at all.  Left unleashed, continual thoughts of failure become a home for you and how you view your life. Thoughts and feelings of failure inflict terrible damage on mental health, leading to anxiety and depression. Negative thoughts discourage you from setting goals, diminish the value of your natural talents, and magnify your weaknesses.

This failure mindset is also a product of being in the natural man state. The Natural Man's job description is to convince you of the exact opposite thing God would tell you. THE NATURAL MAN IS YOUR INNER CRITIC, GREATEST DISTRACTOR, AND ENERGY ZAPPER. This is taught in Alma 41:11 where we read,

"And now, my son, all men that are in a state of nature, or I would say, in a carnal state (natural man state), are in the gall of bitterness and in the bonds of iniquity; they are without God in the world, and they have gone contrary to the nature of God; therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness."

If you don’t learn how to recognize when you are in the natural man state and put it to sleep, then you run the risk of being deceived by this failure mindset and lose the opportunity to let Christ help you help your loved ones succeed. Also, in a minute I will tell you how to exit that state. 

Toxic Positivity Mindset

Toxic positivity is the pressure to only display positive emotions, suppressing any negative emotions, feelings, reactions, or experiences. I call it creating a dam for anything negative. As soon as something negative enters your mind you put up the dam and catch the negative from exiting. These are thoughts and feelings you don’t want to experience, talk about or feel, so you hold them back.

A lot of times, I see women do that by counteracting it with the positive. Now I am not talking about not being positive; I am talking about not replacing your negative emotions and experiences with positivity without feeling them first.  That invalidates the human experience and can lead to trauma, isolation, and unhealthy coping mechanisms. It also takes that need for a Savior away. One of the purposes of the enabling power of Christ is to enable you to bear the burdens of living in a fallen world. You NEED Him to help you pass through these negative emotions and circumstances. The Savior had to pass through them for you in the atonement, so must you WITH Him. 

The best way to do this is to yoke to the Savior in the negative and not push the negative away. Pull the Savior in when you feel these emotions and allow Him to heal you, process the emotions with you and create a peaceful place amongst the negative. He can do that. He has the power to do that. 

Now I am sure you understand the importance of not falling into these mindsets so you're not sabotaging your mental health.  But I am sure you also understand it isn’t as simple as saying I don’t want to be in that mindset anymore that gets you out. So one of the most effective ways I have found to exit these mindsets is to put the natural man asleep inside of you and enter into your true divine state where these mindsets don’t exist and you can yoke to the Savior’s enabling power. The best way to do this is through Revelation Meditations. President David O. McKay has said that, 

“We pay too little attention to the value of meditation"

Strengthening your mental health by using Revelation Meditations will help you to:

• Have clarity in your thoughts for more peace so you can cope with life’s stresses
• Receive divine help to increase energy so you can work productively
• Communicate your needs and desires to connect and improve relationships 
• Process emotions to create healing so you can have better self-care

So if you are a faithful woman who is feeling stressed, unmotivated, confused and emotional you can begin strengthening your mental health in 20 minutes a day by using revelation meditations “to pass through to the presence of the Lord.” Doing so will help you receive His ENABLING POWER of peace, energy, connection and healing.

At the beginning of next month on October first I am doing a 30 Days to Stronger Mental Health Challenge to help fortify, strengthen and heal your mental health for the upcoming winter. Each day of the challenge you will have a specific meditation (on a private app) you can complete to help you strengthen your mental health. You will receive the entire Clarity in the Chaos Course with 25 unique meditations for FREE to use during and after the challenge. You can even start the meditations immediately and not wait until October 1.

The challenge is held on a Private Community App. This will be a place to connect with other women facing similar life challenges to you, get your questions answered daily on the challenges and become motivated to develop critical mental health tools. All contained in a private app away from social media distractions.

Within the 30 days to stronger mental health challenge, there will be weekly prizes given for completing the daily challenges and an ability to connect with other women who are experiencing similar life challenges as you. The prizes are there to help motivate and keep your focus while you are developing new and crucial habits for your mental health. Challenges are a great way to start a new habit. They provide the boost you may need to get started making a change. Once you start the challenge, the daily repetition boosts momentum to strengthen your mental health and as you keep going, achieving small successes can help motivate you to keep the changes going. 

Are you ready to join us to have stronger mental health through this challenge, then click the link in my show notes and you can get started with the meditations right away. Then once you register, send the link to a friend that you want to do the challenge with because challenges are more successful when you have an accountability partner. Also, hit that follow button on your podcast app so you can catch the last sabotager of your mental health.